…Hours after my scalp was filled with scabs all over
my head, my hair was now stuck to my scalp and there was puss and blood that
were binding it there. I was going through torture trying to pull what I had
left off of my scab filled scalp and that is when is when I knew something had
to change. For four long years I would buy every product on the shelf that said
Grow Now, Miracle Grow, and Growth Serum. Anything that promised it would get
my hair back to its original state, I had it. Long and behold nothing worked,
my hair was still breaking, still not getting back to being healthy, and still
not reaching past my shoulders. After the three years of being relaxed in high
school and transitioning into college for my first year, natural hair started
to have a buzz going around the world, starting with comedian Chris Rock’s
‘Good Hair’ documentary. I decided not to listen or watch what was being said
about natural hair, not because I didn’t care but because I had no desire too.
I was still trying to have hope for my dead relaxed hair.
The year going into my first year of college is when
I actually went my shortest and decided to follow the new trend of Rihanna,
which was to go really short in the back and chin length in the front and trust
me; I took it there. A couple of months later after making some close friends
that I still have today and at last watching Chris Rocks documentary, I
actually contemplated the thought of
cutting my hair off, which was quickly followed by turning that thought
off. Until one afternoon my friend asked me if I would ever cut my hair and go
natural, which I quickly answered an abrupt NO too. Even though having natural
hair had been trickling through my mind for a couple of months at that point, I
wasn’t going to cut off my hair! How was I going to look? Would short hair even
fit my face? Would guys even look at me? As much as these questions sound
shallow, these are questions that were consuming my mind. Hair is a very social
and classis things in society. It identifies you as a person and no matter what
first impressions are always made upon how you look and what your hair looks
like.
However, when I went home that night, my friends
question wouldn’t ease off my mind and I really contemplated if I could really
cut off my hair. I realized that my perm date was coming up within a weeks and
so was my birthday. I went to sleep and
the next morning I woke up feeling an urge to just do it. The way I saw it my
hair was already short- my hair already damaged. What did I have to lose? My
answer: It not growing. That was my big worry, but I took the chance. The next
day I called my friend and told her I wanted her to cut off every single
strand.
After my big chop (08/11/2009) I couldn’t stop
smiling. I looked so beautiful and I couldn’t believe it. I think a little part
of me grew, I didn’t care what others thought and that was important to me. I
had one day to get acquainted with my new look and the next day would be when
things got back to reality...College. On my way to school I was fine all the
way up until I hit King Subway station. My heart started to beat really fast, I
was nervous, I was shaking and worst of all I was late for my lecture which
guaranteed me to walk in with all eyes on me, great! As I stopped pacing the
halls after five minutes I finally opened the door and walked in. I searched
for familiar faces which at first went from confused, to dropped jaws, too
lighted eyes and then too huge smiles. I felt so relieved and happy. My friends
were there to support me and told me how great I looked. They joked around
about how bald I was which, surprisingly made things easier. Since then my
natural journey has been a positive experience and it always makes it easier to
have positivity around you.
Good luck to all my newbies I'll be teaching you as much as I can! :)
~Nu'khara
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